NEW HERE? Start with this post: INTRO #01 About Little Hunterman
The BIG Word According to Little Hunterman by Hunter Lassal – A Terrier's Fun Take on the Human World: The Total Introduction Thingy
This “wee” is all about a little terrier named Hunter (a real dog), also known as Little Hunterman (the illustrated version). If you're new to the world of Little Hunterman, a great place to start is right here with INTRO #01: About Little Hunterman, and then proceed to INTRO #02: What's Wee-Mail? and INTRO #03: Who’s Who in Hunterman-Land? The remaining wees can be sniffed in any order. If you prefer to begin with the first drop, head over to A Wee about Having the Wees and continue by following the links at the bottom of each puddle. You can also see an index here.
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The Big World According to Little Hunterman by Hunter Lassal:
Total Introduction 01: About Little Hunterman
Surprise: There are TWO of me!
Totally coolest, right?
Seriously though, the world might be full of mind-boggling mysteries, but how I, a totally for-real Parson Russell terrier, ended up becoming a fearless cartoon doggie is definitely one of the mostest mind-boggling mysteries of them all.
(Right up there with why we have to put up with evil bath monsters.)
No one ever found out what fantastically magical forces made my human come up with my illustrated doggie-self (but it must have been a truly earth-ball-shattering event).
Come to think of it, no one ever figured out why I became obsessed with croissants, either.
Then again, if my human had only drawn me a wee bit bigger — just so I could’ve reached the yummy croissants on my own…
(And humans wonder why we doggies have to beg.)
But that’s life, I guess:
All the bits and pieces are never really well thought through ahead of time.
Life is a fill-in-as-you-go kinda thingy.
So that’s why I try to do just that: to fill my life with as much fantastical stuff as I can manage — like long walkies in the rain, which are THE bestest doggie-nose treat EVER! (Even though Flynn would never join me on those because he fears rain like crazy.) And, to be fair, it is totally my fault he’s so scared of water. It’s a sad but true little story.
See, when I was still a puppy, barely months old, I had to make my first big dog decision: To comfortably stay with my doggie family in a totally safe, predictable, and orderly home-place…
… or to follow my newfound humans to a fate unknown and possibly full of mighty challenges and life-threatening doggie-dangers.
Obviously, this was a total no-brainer for a fantastically fearless Parson Russell terrier like me.
And so I went into the wild to conquer the world.
I even got my very own little bed in my very own little basket. Plenty of undisputed room for me alone. I liked it a lot.
My basket had this fantastically soft cushion and an extra orange blanket. Then I added my mostest important toys of the moment, the ones I thought I couldn’t live without.
I’m sure you know what I mean. Everyone has things they think they cannot live without. Even humans, right?
And some nights, when I simply couldn’t decide on what I wanted, I’d totally try to stuff ALL of my toys into my basket.
Then it would get a tiny wee bit crowded.
Then, as the weeks passed, I started to notice the terrible dangers in this new world — like sudden gushes of wind coming from kinda out of nowhere, weird shadows moving all by themselves in front of open windows, and other totally worrisome stuff.
From that moment on, it felt much safer to close the front gate of my little basket house for the night.
And at first, it helped.
But, because I was not used to being alone, I’d get terribly upset when I’d wake up all by myself in my basket in the middle of the night.
So, my human let me sleep next to her.
This way all it took was a quick sniff to check that my human was with me and that both of us were safe. That’s the magic of a fantastically powerful doggie-nose for you.
(It also helped to sleep on my human’s hand just to make sure she couldn't leave unnoticed.)
The new arrangements made me feel much less anxious.
Unfortunately, though, it did not take me long to find more stuff to worry about.
From my newly elevated sleeping place, I could see right through the apartment window to the big, unknown outside world.
And my doggie logic told me that WHATEVER was out there would now totally see me, too!!!
Thankfully, we found a satisfactory way to deal with this new nighttime threat.
Big bonus: I’m a November doggie — so these were my very first flowers EVER! And they were orange, too, my mostest favorite color. Coolest, right?
With my nighttime worries solved, I could finally fret over my daytime problems. That’s because my new human did this crazy work-thingy, see? And even though she usually worked from home, she could not keep playing with me non-stop like she had done in the first weeks.
I had to find new things to do…
… and new friends to do them with.
That’s how I met Flynn.
Fortunately, it turns out that I’m a total expert in making new friends.
Too bad that I had already chewed off his tail, though, turning Flynn into the first ever rubber-duckie afraid of sinking. It made him a wee bit grumpy.
See what I mean?
Flynn’s proper name is Admiral Flynn van Kwiitsch, from the Mighty Everlasting Rubber Duck Fleet. He comes from the China-lands which sit on the other side of the Earth-ball from where we live today.
When it’s day over there, it’s night right here, and the other way around.
Weird, right?
Even after crossing the big Pacific-Ocean-waters to our side of the Earth-ball, Flynn never got used to the switched-around day-and-night time rhythm.
That’s why Flynn is always awake during our nights and mostly asleep during our days. We try to make the bestest out of it by taking turns watching each other’s backs.
At night, while I sleep, Flynn reads books or secretly borrows my human’s cell-phone-thingy to wander the interweb-places.
He gets to read the mostest amazing stories. And then he tells me everything during our morning walkies (until he falls asleep, that is).
I generally have to come up with an ending myself. Then again, it totally works for us.
During morning walkies we also prepare our fantastical anti-grumpiness Monday-Wees. (As a subscriber, you could totally get these via wee-mails as well.)
In our Monday-Wees, we talk about our daily adventures, deep doggie insights, and other totally important comrade stuff. And then, once we’ve collected enough new illustrated material, it’ll all end up in a new Little Hunterman book.
Currently, we have material for 5 books (both in German AND in English) even though my human is really slow in getting them out and published.
Still, it’s a really coolest setup, right?
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Get my newest wee-mails. Send me wee-mails back. Or, if you are totally coolest, you could help me out with a paid subscription. Each paid subscription pays for one back of yummy treats or for one large human coffee at my mostest favorite coffee-shop-place. Not only are the humans there doggie-friendly but the place also has these big windows that go all the way down to the floor. I love to look at the outside world without having to worry about being stepped on and without getting cold. Unfortunately, we don’t go there nearly often enough because going to coffee-shop-places seems to get expensive fantastically quickly!
So, if you help me out with a paid subscription, you’ll not only be joining in on our fun substack chats AND getting extra stuff—you’ll also be gifting me some mostest fantastical coffee-shop-place-window-time—it would totally make me love you FOREVER!
I really mean it.
Yay!
Your BIG friend,
little (very excited) Hunterman
Doggie WEE-ctionary
Flynn accuses me of weeing funny. I hope you don’t mind. It’s a doggie thingy.
Here are some explanations, though:
wee-archives = post archives
thingies = things
wee = a post, a comment, sometimes also an abbreviation for wee-mail
Earth-ball = world
wee-mail = doggie email
coolest = abbreviation for “very much totally extra cool”
…
I also use an amazing amount of exclamation marks. After all, I’m a little terrier.
This Substack is a reader-supported publication. Little Hunterman is independently published, allowing me, the human behind it, to retain copyright ownership. To receive new posts and support the continued creation of Little Hunterman, please consider becoming a subscriber, either free or paid. We would be extremely grateful for your support.